Articles taggés avec ‘libération’

Comme un garçon

Mercredi 4 février 2009

A la fois grisant et un peu dangereux à mon âge, c’est arrivé. Tellement libérateur que j’aurais presque envie de l’écrire froidement en Anglais. For the first time I behave like a man, through and through. And I feel I am finally through.  With daddy, with my doubts, and with being picked instead of chosen anew. My admiration with brain vanished, with all the maiden’s fantasies you have been carrying with you. From the body plane boredom can come – better than pleasure- and liberating laughter too. The desire is dead, long live my everlasting roumanian pout. A romanesque freedom after a good movie, an uncanny conversation in a taxi and an invitation sent with guts and taste are tout à fait à mon goût. Sitting on my firm floor withour a panty and smoking my cigare, I pierced an old fantasy. Content like a boyscout, I feel whole and sexy. It was indeed cold and foreign, but it was very funny. Je tiens enfin seule et debout. I move to a rising power that could also translate in German and Hebrew.  Ich stehe, nicht still aber mit lustiger Lust. He will of course remain my friend for giving me so much relief and the perfect key. Cute and clumsy, there was nothing to grasp. A peine son maigre cou. His fingers barely touched my firm tights, pendant que je jouais dans sa tignasse de cupidon roux. He barely gave me -without anxiety- a weak mew. But I displayed it like a smile, as superficial as I could. I was finally a femme, not even fatale, and that is much more than I usually do. Chasing the genius-jew helped me burry my fears, go out in the living city, where I can physically mesure all my value. Now, I know that if Salomé were a man, she would have survived her monstruous desire, and escaped with grace in the early dew. I am going to follow the princess, and get for myself jewels and soft skins, even better than I used to. I grew suddenly, it is almost too much height in my solitary view. But I feel good and I’ll stick to the joy, going in peace to bed, dreaming of gratitude, before writing without effort in the brightness of a snowing light : another intellectual review.